Can not breathe

Son: Mommy, Mommy! I can’t breathe!

Mom: Good, it’s working.

Funny Jokes

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Pajamas
Pajamas
A poultry geist
Romeo and Ghouliet
Benjamin Frankenstein
Maniac burn
They saw a submarin
A cornfield
1000 years
Pretanned leather
Moses ark
Shaking
Halo
Grandma monster
I want
A doll not a doll
Existentialists
His girlfriend
The Codfather
What is a bus
Swallow the leader
Count Duckula
Seatbelts
A wash
A werewolf
Driver had dandruff
Under law
Have you noticed
A fumble bee
FOWL language
Witches put on
Cook get fired
A fungi
Why do bikes have
Shoemakers
If a fellow met
A shadow
Dampened his spirits
A mewseum
Cork say to
Hat say to
Draculas wife
Monsters covered
Monster eat
Halloween Funnies
Bachelor pad
Some day my prints
He got 12 months
Why did the guy
Twist to open
Smartest people
Why is psychoanalysis
Stay up all night
Ms Mushroom
Why shake hands
Noah was standing
Eskimos have babies
He only had
Scientist install a knocker
Survivors of a nuclear
Post office
I get a kick
Stupid tiptoe
Pizzas put in square box
Men at singles bars
Scud missile
A police officer
A walkietalkie
Strawberry
Stoplight
Why are you late
Altzeimers
Just stand where
Smokey the Bear
Coincidence
Mayo say when
Fred Flintstone
Mixed emotions
20 Ways To Confuse
Billy gates writes
Guide to staying stressed
Age attention
Sisters of mercy
Fruit picking
Fun at your
You are no longer
100 zany ways
Broadmoor psychiatric
Little known facts
267 stupid pick up
50 fun things
And finally
I thought
I toldja computers
Oops Of the week
Hey what about
Dumb criminals
Requesting a three
Murphys combat laws
Top 20 ways
Free sex with
38 kinder
Why email
America offline
Bill gates
Limericks
How many Trotskyites
How many Belgians
How many armies
How many country
Top ten times
How to keep
Boy scouts visit
Research by sex
Airplane losing height
Patient in lunatic
Any last words
Lost x files
Santa pause
Iced lolly
Sandy claws
Because he likes
Santa Jaws
Twinkle Twinkle
Santapplause
Freeze a jolly good
Santa Clues
An Eskimoo
Frost bite
You wake up
A snowball
By icicle
Snowballs
Icebergers
An eskimos home
Ice caps
She gave him
Sooty
Stacks
Elephanta Claus
Because it soots him
Santa Paws
Black mail
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December that
Laugh on boxing day
Christmas Eve
The Burglar
The Three Sons
House Sitting
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Four Fathers
The Cab Driver
Practically a genius
Lateral Thinking
Lumberyard
Dog Cafe
Speeding Ticket
Insensitive Sergeant
A Strange Dream
The Three Wishes
The Swimmer
The Final Exam
Traffic Cop
Elementary my dear
The Cowboy
Smart Guy
Senior Citizens
Painting
The Juggler
Three Students
Inheritance
Memorys Going
Hearing Problem
The Bus Driver
To a Cop
Old Peanuts
Theater Guest
Plane Crash
Bogged
School Joke
The Murder Trial
Snow Day
Beethoven
Golfing Difficulties
Bungee Jumping
A Scary Ride
The Truckie
Thirteen
The Parking Ticket
Yellow pudding
Wear a bra now
watch TV and
Scabs
Running in circles
Play with Grandpa
Play in the sandbox
Play baseball
No skipping
No cookies
New dress
Need the toilet
Make pickles
Lick the bowl
Learn to swim
Hop everywhere
Head too big
Head hurts
Hamburgers
Going out
Egg tastes bad
Deliquant child
Daddys on fire
Daddy running away
Can not breathe
Braided hair
Bike for Christmas
Big head
Prostitute with no legs
Prostitute gets run over
Prostitue by the sea
In the best business
Red black and white
Red and blue
Pink and
Light and hard
A pool table
Green and
Brown and
Brown and runs
Brown and furry
Black and sitting
Train driver
Kennedy Airport
A gripe sheet
Rudolf the Red
Santa go down
Mash scara
Zambian Roulette
Egg Is This
Whipping the Foreigners
A Truncheon
Ventriloquist
USS Lincoln
Things Belong Together
Easterners Exchange Moronic
Foreign Policy
For Being English
Live On Prince Edward
Live in Saskatchewan
Live in Quebec
Live in Ontario
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Live In Newfoundland
Live in New Brunswick
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Live in Alberta
Tiff With Riley
Polish Gourmets
Mirthful Hindus
Kooky Polish Jokes
Secret Agent Materia
The Tomato Seller
Horses of the Apocalypse
Three Astronauts
Pocket Watch
A man with a pegleg
Mexican Firefighter
The Greedy Texan
Chinese Workman
The Amputated
The Aging Explorer
Talking Italian
Taliban Poetic
Stand up Gandhi
Smart Cape Bretoner
Sino Mexican Relations
Siamese Twins
You Crazy Fratboy
Sharing
Self Explanatory
Scottish Cheapskates
Scot Got Naught
Sardarji on the Mountain
Santa Singh
Rubber Toe
Views of the World
Rebuilding New York
Rastavirgins
Question Marks
Prime Minister Material
Prime Minister Material
Polish Frogmen
Perambulating
Osama Bin Lighted
One Too Many
Ole and the Lefse
New Words
New Canadian Flag
Motor Pool
Mexican Smuggler
Mexican Restaurant Specialty
Mexican Green
Mexican Funeral
Meeting the Irish
Medical Miracles
Made in Canada
Light Reading
Latino Martial Arts
Friendly Skies
Friendly Skies
Kill the Anthropologist
KMarts in Afghanistan
Kmart Stands for
Irish Eats Italian
Irish DUI
Irish Abortion Clinic
Inventions by Idiots
India and Bharat
Tribute Drinking
Harem
Gypped Gypsies
Going to Heaven
Get Your Ire Up
German Windbreaker
German Vasoline
Free Throw
Hot Burn of Shame
Farm Fugitives
Ethnic Joke
Espanol para Matadors
Peculiar Laundry Habits
English Patient
English Jesus
Divorce and Circumcision
Dirty Swiss
Rita McNeil
Culture Shock
Cubano
Cows In Government
Runs Behind Bus
People Who Can Count
Confucious
Christmas Italian Style
Chinese Phone System
Chilling with
Chicken Chat
Celtic Mortality
Castroski
Canadian
Buried at Sea
Bungee Jumping
British Sports Humor
Swimming Race
HIs Lunch
Ruski Proposition
Big Testicles
Big Red
Beer Machismo
Bedouins
Baseball for Scotsmen
Cockney Steering Wheel
Aussie Tossie
American in Mexico
Afghani Joe
A Meal To Die
Brass lamp
35th anniversary
3 friends
Hawaii
A man and ostrich
The coach
Canoe
A jack
Little Heart
Stupid difference
Waddles into walls
Zombie baby in
Fists behind
Around in a corridor
Cuter than
High chair
A doctor
A zombie baby
A zombie puppy
Zombie baby to sleep
Zombie baby
Wobbles
Spider Mate
Big Head
My Father
Confusing
The Doorbell
Sunday School
Big Trouble
The Calf
The Wedding
Watermelons
Gifts for the teacher
7up
Doug
Ginger
Ginger
Jonathan and William
Finished waxing
Ketchup
Population explosion
School play
Thanksgiving
Steak on head
A good father
Louisa
You Are My Hero
Walking home from school
Himalayas
Bruno
Rich Doctor
Birthday
Litter of kittens
First visit to the zoo
Home alone
Getting distressed
50 cents
Daniel
Grandma told me
Grandma told me
Alice
Stop Imagining
One kid asks
Serious operation
A bus conductor
feeling crummy
First day of school
The man in the cafe
Old lady in the park
A little Henry
A distinguished matron
Bedtime story
Abraham Lincoln
I am the wiener
Born in 1967
An abstract noun
The Bennett family
Selfish behavior
Being selfish
Out swimming
Pink Fluff
Billy Brown
Twenty cents
My mom
Mickey Mouse
Alfie
Nice belt
Fifteen minutes
8 years old
Lisa
My sons kindergarten
A nursery school teacher
A man selling carpet
A father came home
A mother and son
A three year old
Hearing a scream
What is it you
A teacher wanted
Mum
A camping trip
Little Jimmys mother
Eating a doughnut
Democratic Party
Letter from Principal
Ozzie
Sun or moon
I play with him
Family Bible
A Tourist
Little Tim
Six year old lad
One day
A young girl
Found a frog
One cold winter day
Little Amy
Preparing pancakes
An exasperated mother
A Sunday school teacher
Old county doctor
A Cub Scout trop
A mother and daughter
Boy asked his father
A mother carefully explained
A salesman telephone
A priest is walking
I have a cookie
Mrs Sullivan
A second grader
A certain little girl
A sweet little boy
Kindergarten children
Kevin 5 Ryan 3
A Kindergarten teacher
Boss of a big company
A boy had reached
Some boy scouts
At a wedding
Cats and teenagers
Letter to Son
A little boy went up
A unit in sex education
A kindergarten pupil
One summer evening
The tiger
A panda bear
The children
Martins license
A policeman brought
Little Pete
Little Emily
His father sends
A man walking down
A boy was teaching
Two brothers
The boss of a big
Two boy scouts
She touched a drop
Worse than six babie
Wife feel normal
Thousand dead babies
What is babylon
Two months pregnant
Terrible twos
Takes five babies
Take dead baby
Sanitize nipples
Turns quickly
Stringy
Screams
Red and white
Red and swings back
Red and sits
Round in circles
Red and goes round
Pressure during labour
Present for a
Pregnant and veyr moody
Pregnant
Pink and red
Plop plop
Pink and hard
Pink and goes black
More pregnant
More fun than spinning
In the delivery room
How long in labour
Grosser than piling
Four wheels
Ferrari and dead babies
Difference between pregnant
Determine a babys sex
Definition of fun
Dead baby in
Dead baby float
Brown and gurgles
Brown and bubbly
Bounces up and down
Blue and yellow
Blue and sits
Black and sits
Best time to stop
Best place
Baby in a blender
Baby after 35
Babies in a shoebox
Alternative to breast pumps
Custody Battle
Shut up
TicTacs
Three Legged Race
Learned from My Children
They are Busy
Dangerous and swings
The Teachers Gift
Fire Engine
The Leprechaun
Ambitions of Babies
Technically and Reality
Subway Series School
Strawberry Manure
Special Olympics
Smoke Rings
Smartass Record Shop
Shoulda Quit While
Rectum
No Punishment
No Cavities
Books
Big Answer
Little Joey
Let Them Eat Homework
Hang Man
Gimmie an R
Geometry
Finding The Lord
Feet First
To The Preacher
Discrimination
Clown joke
Chores on the Farm
Childrens Games
Childhood Of Yore
Bombed Outta My Head
Birdy
Baby Drink
Are You Ready
Who Are These
In A Year
An APB On God
School Excuse Notes
ABC
View of Retirement
Fred Flintstone
Shut Up
Baaaaad Breath
Medical Miracles
English Patient
Light and hard
Divorce and Circumcision
American in Mexico
Speeding Ticket
A Truncheon
Technically and Reality
Talking Italian
Sunday School
Smokey the Bear
Smartass Record Shop
Scot Got Naught
Rastavirgins
Made in Canada
Confucious
Chores on the Farm
Birdy
Big Testicles
Cockney Steering Wheel
The Horoscope Quiz
Imagine That
Merging
Crossing Over
The Pope on Flavors
Dating a Doctor
Are They Real
Dying Confession
There Were Pets
One Cent
Technology V GM
Job Search
Killer Biscuits
The Ever Changing Parent
Problems N Solutions
The Answer Is
An Embarrassing Night
The Service Industry
Shorts of 2003
On Exercise
Mensa Questions
Got Kids
Large Appetite Needed
Times Up
Letter From A Senior
Another French Jab
Baseball Lingo
How Do You Feel
The Statue
Well Known Private
Fooling Around
Sometimes
Who is In Charge
What We Say
The five leading causes
Stats on 1902
News Alert
Overheard Sex Talk
Army Fashion Reasoning
Iraqi TV Guide
Upper Management
Finally Together
Iraqi Trivia
Price is Relative
Clinton Era
Changing a Light Bulb
Gray Hair
Outhouse Incident
Life Explained
Technical Love
Headlines of 2002
A Hillary Fan
Failing Memory
Found Objects
Quote of the Day
Four Animals
Doctors Protégé
Impressions
Dear Landlord
Man A Gift
Yeeehaaa
Meaning of Marriage
Homeland Security
Just Friends
The Sailor Savior
A Clean Hangover
The Bunny
Neurotic Nightmare
Never Say To A Cop
Mothers
Newly Weds
How Time Flies
Humor About The French
The Army
Reading Newspapers
Revenge is Cheap
Married Jokes
A Married Joke
Magic Beer
An Interesting Fact
Life Equations
A Dirty Joke
Life Mathematics
Pissed In Its Ear
Women At War
Study on Faces
Daddy Long Legs
Ex Husband
Great Shorts
Priests At the Gates
Super Bowl Ad
Mad Cow Disease
Singing Telegrams
Women In Charge
Veterinarian
Salesman With Class
Having a Stroke
The Numbers Say
Imagination Wins
Story With Morals
Dear Tech Support
One Up
Calling All Ladies
Mouths of Babes
Words Of Wisdom
Losing Your Load
Practical Joke
Ever Wonder
Go To Hell
Avoiding Paperwork
Real Women
A Two For One
A Two For One
The Monk
The Cat In The Hat
Painting Job
Accentuating the Positive
Terms of Endearment
Senility
Symbols
Strange Attraction
Another Virus Alert
The Ultimate Fantasy
Fooling Who
In The News
Prescription
Impertinence
Over The Hill
I am a Senior
Signs
Living in 2003
For Both Sexes
Friendly Advice
Out Ranked
A Strangers Knock
Bubbas New Truck
Supernatural
Butter v Crisco
Good Night
All The Same
Pirate Mishaps
Catholic School
Twisted Disney Humor
Heaven Bound
A Note From Bob
Accidental Shooting
The Famous on Sex
Go Granny
Santas Gone South
Letter From Santa
Latest Strategy
Home Early
According to Dr Seuss
X Mas Carols
Politically Incorrectness
Zip It
Air Plane Conversation
Hu is in China
May Be True
Doctor Dave
Love Dress
And The Moral Is
Best Patients
Gotta Love Em
Kenny the Rooster
Tree Hugger
Embarrassing Moment
Adoption Request
A ThanksGiving Poem
Direct Diagnosis
Am I Old
Kids Say
Electric Customer
Scrabble Whopper
Coffin Cure
The 3 Bears
Captured Redneck
Why is of Men
Evolution
Verbally Insane
Oil Changes
Soft to Hard
Just Plain Sick
Redneck Newlyweds
Gotta Love Her
Insane Statistics
Saving Up
How Are You
Gas Problems
Say 99
Say 99
After Surgery
Welcome to Jamaica
First Grade Teacher
The Female Brain
Saying Grace
The Magical Mirror
Watching the Game
Golfers Caution
Good Hearted
SAT Style
Feeling Old
ViewPoint
Bull Story
Mis E Mailed
Nicoderm
Vision Problems
Bra Size
Reminiscing
Southern Charm
Cowboys and Terrorists
Morons In The News
Trailer Trash
Hate My Job
Dangerous Confession
Mother In Law Problems
Mr Or Mrs Fly
Cat Style
Talking Dog
Roe v Wade
Capitals
Don not Do It
A Compact
The Coast
What A Deal
Annoying Them Back
Jackie Mason
Andy Rooney On
Trial Surprise
Actual Product Labels
Skin Transplant Surgery
More Things
Diagnosis
In The World
The Classroom
To Be An Egg
Hi Tech Problems
Stress Relief
Grown Up
The Elephant
Mama Papa
Absolutely Useless
Are You A Doctor
The City Boy
12 New Years Resolution
Marketing
Thirsty
I will Sue
Three Old Men
New Exercise Regiment
Ten Commandments
St Peters Dilemma
Defender of justice
Odds N Ends
Sensitive Man
Holiday Planning List
Therapy
More Bumper Stickers
The Bus Ride
Study In Scotland
To Brag About
Anal Optic Nerve
Bumper Stickers
The Origins
A Killer Dish
Let Me Guess
The Weakest Link
We Share Everything
2 Dirty Birds
Short But Sweet
A Horoscope
Aging With Grace
The Misers Wife
The Facelift
Single Black Female
Outside The Box
Dead Wrong
Hollywood Squares
A Winner Here
Senior Personal Ads
The Archives of Elvis
A Picture
Poem For Computer Users
Barbie For Today
Quotable Women
Sunday Morning
Another Senior Moment
Let Me
Globalization
The Boss Remedy
A City Boy
Geography of a Woman
More Jewish Tidbits
Receptionists Advice
Taters
Chopped Liver
Oral Exam
12 Step Program
George Carlin
Words Women Use
Indian Stories
Truths About Growing Old
Pets N Heaven
Tendjewberrymud
When Reality Sets In
Traffic Question
Texas Style
Giorgios Shoes
From A Man
Jewish Tidbits
By The Balls
Knots
Negotiations
Fishing Trip
Windy Cruise
Lifesaver
I Remember When
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Two Blondes
Your State Motto
The Lottery Winne
Stupid Labels
Osamas Genie
Messed Up Proverbs
In The Beginning
Social Security Office
Mothers Were Jewish
Our Children
Med School
710 Cap
You Live In
Old Man Shuffle
Crazy Baptism
Money
Funeral Service
Chinese Laundry
Yeshivah Student
Whole Body Ache
Last Requests
Quick Grocer
Insane Facts
Reality Sets In
The Viewing
The Vegas Story
The New MD
A Get or A Bris
A Dirty Word
Success Is
Top 10 Reasons
When God Speaks
Bobbittized
Cake or Bed
Educational Class
Left Overs
The Rules
A Trip To
Stall Etiquette
I Love Mustard
How Well Does
Telemarketers
Little Golden Books
Dog Pet Peeves
Blonde Joke
Pet Diaries
Heavenly Inventions
A Story
The Teachers Gift
The Leprechaun
Smoke Rings
First Day of School
Dirty Swiss
Chilling with
Captain Hooks Death
Baby Drink
Baaaaad Breath
Mother Theresa
Kooky Polish
Smart Guy
Ever Wonder
Signs
Talking dog
The Coach
Subway Series School
Special Olympics
Espanol para Matadors
British Sports Humor
Baseball for Scotsmen
Ten commandments
The classroom
A police officer
A panda bear
A police officer
Cats and Teenagers
Things Belong Together
The Teachers Gift
The Aging Explorer
Rectum
Harem
Abraham Lincoln
Stoplight
Swimming Race
Two blondes
Blonde joke
Funny $500 Porsche Joke
Shave And Shine
Definitely A Joke
God Bless Joke
Signs
SIGNS
Sharing
Coincidence
Trip To the Pharmacy
And finally
Cows In Government
Chores on the Farm
Chicken Chat
Big Testicles
American in Mexico
The Burglar
The Three Sons