A Frenchman, an Englishman and a redneck are captured by a fierce tribe of Indians. The chief walks up to them and says, "I have bad news and good news. The bad news is you will die, and we will use your skin to make canoes. The good news is you can choose the way you die."
The Frenchman says, "I take ze poison." When given the poison, the Frenchman shouts, "Viva la France!" and drinks it down.
The Englishman says, "A pistol for me." When given the pistol, the Englishman puts the gun to his head and shouts, "God save the queen!" and shoots himself in the head.
The redneck asks for a fork. Puzzled, the chief hands the redneck a fork, and he begins stabbing himself all over his body, his stomach, his sides, his chest …. everywhere. As the blood from the redneck begins gushing out all over, the chief is appalled and screams, "What are you doing?"
The redneck looks at the chief and says, "So much for your canoe asshole."