A A A D D

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests:
I decided to wash my car. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the bin under the table, and notice that the bin is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first. But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only one cheque left. My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the bottle of lemonade that I had been drinking.

I’m going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the lemonade aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. I see that the lemonade is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the lemonade, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye-they need to be watered. I set the lemonade down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, we will be looking for the remote, but nobody will remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the lounge where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.

I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then I head down the hall, trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day the car isn’t washed, the bills aren’t paid, there is a warm bottle of lemonade sitting on the counter, the flowers aren’t watered, there is still only one check in my cheque book, I can’t find the remote, I can’t find my glasses, and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail.

General Jokes