Forrest Gump

The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to heaven. He is at the pearly gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper. St. Peter says, "Well Forrest, it certainly is good to see you. We’ve heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, this place is filling up fast and we’ve been administrating and entrance exam to everyone. The test is short but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven."

Forrest responds, "It sure is good to be here St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about an entrance exam. Sure hope the test isn’t too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."

St. Peter goes on, "Yes, Forrest, I know, but the test is only three questions. First: What two days of the week begin with the letter "T"? Second: How many seconds are there in a year? And the third one: What is God’s first name?"

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter who waves him up and say, "Now that you had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forrest says, "Well the first one–which two days in the week start with the letter "T"?

Shucks, that’s easy. That’d be Today and Tomorrow."

The Saint’s eyes open wide and exclaims, "Forrest, that’s not quite what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn’t specify. So I’ll give you credit for that answer. "How bout the next one?" St. Peter asks, "How many seconds in a year?"

"Twelve", said Forrest.

Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest, how in Heaven’s name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?!"

Forrest says, "Shucks, there’s gotta be twelve, Jan 2nd, Feb 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd…"

"Hold it", interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you are going with this and I see your point, though that wasn’t quite what I had in mind, but I will have to give you credit for that one too.

Let’s go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God’s first name?"

"Sure.”
 Forrest replied. "It’s Andy."

"Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "OK, I can understand how you came up with the answers to the first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with Andy as the first name of God?"

"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all.”
 Forrest replies. "I learnt it from the song… ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN…"

St. Peter opens the Pearly Gates and says, "Run, Forrest, run."

General Jokes