On his recent tour of New Zealand, the Pope took a couple of days out of his itinerary for an impromptu visit to the wild outdoors of the far North of New Zealand.
Way up on desolate Ninety Mile beach, near the mouth of the Te Paki Stream, safe in his 4X4 Pope-mobile, his entourage came upon an enormous commotion in the water. They rushed to see what it was about and upon approaching the scene the Pope noticed a hapless man in the surf wearing a Wallabies rugby jersey, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a sixteen foot shark.
Almost immediately a speedboat containing three men wearing All Black jerseys roared into view from beyond the surf line. One of the men took aim and fired a harpoon into the sharks’ head, immobilizing it instantly. The other two reached down and pulled the Aussie from the water and using long clubs, finished the shark off.
They bundled the bleeding, semi conscious man into the speedboat along with the dead shark and then prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic shouting from the shore. It was of course the Pope. He summoned them to the beach.
When they reached the shore the Pope went into raptures about the rescue and said, "I give you my best Papal blessing for your brave actions. I had heard that there is a racist xenophobic divide between Australia & New Zealand, but, now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true. I can see that your societies are true examples of racial harmony and could serve as a model on which other nations could follow."
He blessed them all and drove off in a cloud of dust.
As he departed, the harpooner turned to the other Kiwis and asked, "’Who the bloody heck was that???"
"That," one answered, "Was his Holiness the Pope. He is in direct contact with God and has access to all God’s wisdom."
"Well," the harpooner replied, "He knows bugger all about shark fishing! Now – how’s that bait holding up, or do we need to get another one?"