An old man and his wife were listening to their favorite radio evangelist, who promised, "With God’s incredible powers behind me, I can heal anything! Place one hand on the radio and the other on that which you want healed, and IT SHALL BE HEALED!"
The old woman put one hand on the radio and the other on her heart. The old man put one hand on the radio and the other on his pants.
The woman said, "Uh, honey, he said he could HEAL, not BRING BACK FROM THE DEAD!"