Hearing Voices

Man: Doc, you’ve gotta help me. I’m hearing voices but I don’t see people.

Doc: And when are you hearing these voices?

Man: When I’m on the telephone.

Medical Jokes

A man took
Life in the fast lane
Heard you died
Gynecologist
Drug Problem
Three Hearts
One Hour Before
What Do You Do
Arsenic
Going to the doctor
How To Preserve Health
It is A Miracle
What Doctors Say
Graduate And Experienced
Hospital Regulation
How To Preserve Health
I live normally
Expensive Viagra
Clinical term
Jay went to psychiatrist
I got shingles
His pediatrician
Jim and Mary
A pregnant woman
Yo yo
Two of me
Think I am god
Teepee and wigwam
A Pen
Swallowed a pen
Swallowed a bone
Split personality
So ugly
Snooker ball
Smells like fish
Sleep walking
Seeing double
Rubber band
Second opinion
Roll of film
Regular as clockwork
Pills for body odour
Pair of curtains
Painting myself
Pain in eye
Ointment for spots
Nose running
No sleep
New glasses
Need glasses
Monsters under my bed
Memory
Loud snore
Is it bad
Invisible sister
Invisible
Image of his father
Ignoring me
Hurts everywhere
Head Xray
Hands shaking
Got wind
Garbage
Flush a lot
Electric eel
Deja Vu
Ate three crabs
Bad headache
Can not feel
Broken arm
Breathing trouble
Boiling up
Biscuits
Becoming invisible
Bad teeth
An insect
An adder
A woodworm
A vampire
A telephone
A spoon
A spider
A snake
A snail
A sheep
A racehorse
A python
A nit
A needle
I saw this light
A moth
A mosquito
A lift
A liar
Your just playing
A frog
Sit on the couch
Sit
A dog
A caterpillar
A butterfly
A burglar
A bridge
A bell
A bee
Nikes Anymore
Woman Dentist
Viagra Worked
Viagra for Gramps
Two Psychiatrists
Two Jobs
Dental Appointments
Thermometers
The Sick Husband
The Prognosis
The Hippie
Sick Ship
Stewed Tomatoes
Spliff Joke
So Many Balls
Six Hours to Live
Rover the Brick
Respectfully Cheating
Rare Disorder
Quizzical
Psychiatrists Best Friend
Psychiatric Hotline
Proctologists Accident
Psyched Up
Porsche and Hedgehog
Pervert Psychiatrist
Diddy with Kenny
Over 60 With AIDS
Chit Chat
Nurse Nancy
Male Strip Club
Miracle Exercise
Miracle Drug
Medicinal Marijuana
Leper Stew
Best Medicine
Latex Gloves
I Need Glasses
Hot Temperature
Hospital Food
HMO in Heaven
HMO Executive
Hillbilly Newlyweds
Hilarious Signs
Hemophiliac and Virgin
Hearing Voices
Having To Face
Handicapped
Growing Out
Fuzzy Vision
Flu
Five Surgeons
Escape from
Ending It All
Doctors Nurses
Gimme The News
Dead Baby Crosses
Corpsalicious
Circumcision
Careerist
BCall on an Expert
Break A Leg
Big Boss Man
Bacon in My Ear
Baaaad News
At the Pharmacy
Assisted Suicide
Ask The Doctor
Arm Troubles
American Technology
Medical Chart Notes
A Real Ball Buster
A Little Testy
A Dose of HMO
Visit to the Doctor
History Of Medicine
Hillbilly Newlyweds
Miracle Exercise
Miracle Drug
Hospital Food
A Little Testy
Six Hours to Live
Respectfully Cheating
Rare Disorder
Pervert Psychiatrist
Miracle Exercise
Miracle Drug
Latex Gloves
Hillbilly Newlyweds
Hemophiliac and Virgin
At the Pharmacy
Ask The Doctor
A Real Ball Buster
A Little Testy
Second Opinion
Nurse Nancy
Leper Stew
Latex Gloves
Gynecologist
Ending It All
Gimme The News
Psyched Up
Rover the Brick
Psychiatrists Best Friend
Whats For Dinner
Five Surgeons