Tape measures

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what’s the other?

A. Paul Lynde: "Tape measures."

Celebrity Jokes

Short for Cannot
The Smart Shepard
Jerry Garcia
Dig up John Lennon
Diana and Prince William
Diana and Hugh Grant
Diana and change
The one
Airfix model
Teachers
Diana and the Eurostar
DodiDiDieDay
Gumuz
Kevin Costner
Diana and Cinderella
Pocketful of change
A puppy
John and Princess
Royal Mail strike
Anagrams
Dianas last words
A hormone
Faster Faster
Squidgy
Will Carling
Di and the Beatles
TV show
The glove box
French mortuary
All over Paris
Dark holes
Blue eyes
On the radio
The radiator
Crushed velvet
Ritz
Crash diet
Drive 55
The car wreck
French squash
French wine
Ferrero Rocher
Cremate Di
Charles and Mark Taylor
British Secret Service
Royal Reception
Di and Mother Theresa
A crash course
Mother Theresa and Diana
Heart Attack
Royal Family stop
To kill Di
Leeches and paparazzi
A decoy
British press
Paparazzi and Princess Di
Bumper sticker
No more pictures
Di on a motorcycle
These paparazzi
Cheese
French photographers
Danii Minogue
Papparazi go around
Made a pizza
Lady Di go
Diana and Versace
Model at
John sang a song
So at least
Only queen
To make sure
He wanted toupee
Elton John
Dodi say
Princess Die
The Lady in Red
The pavement
A merc red
Getting Di out
With Di
To paint
Crash photos
Di all over
George Burns
The Ring
The accident
Indian
Mummy Fied
Dodi and Dodo
Di start crying
Ambulance
Diana divorce Charles
Energiser Batteries
62 teeth
Fergie for Christmas
Charles at the funeral
Queen Mother
Death a tragedy
Charles and Camilla
Shall I garage
Fergie
Modern Architecture
Dodi invest
Asked to marry
Michigan State
Warning
Tunnel syndrome
Wealthy Egyptian
A pillar
Princess Dianas death
Clock struck twelve
Favourite ice cream
Di drove into
The wall
Lady Di and Pink Floyd
Eastern Germans
Football Club
Diana said to Dodi
New title
Pittsburgh
NFL and Princess Diana
Diana and Darren Milane
Tank Engine
Computer hardware
Princess Dianas life
A new chauffeur
George Best
Diana and Tiger Woods
Driver had been drinking
I got a pair
Queens favourite car
Dodis chauffeur
Janis Joplin
BMW and a Mercedes
Hunger and a mercedes
Diana in a Merc
Mercedes straights
New Mercedes
Budgie the Helicopter
Merc function properly
Mercedes Syndrome
Mercedes and Princess Diana
Mercedes like
Mercedes 600
Royal Jelly
Mercedes BENZ
Di wear
Di at the Pearly Gates
Mercedes and a Porsche
Just Di it
Diana had AIDS
DODI stand for
Nasty Accident
Not Speaking
Computer Owner
The Accident
Princess
Point and laugh
What are they
Who is responsible
Get it in his mouth
Cattle crossing
It got me out
Pregnant for two years
Make him bark
Tape measures
Ralph the pin boy
Grow strawberries
Angels wear leather
You ask me
Next apartment
Vincent Price
Charley Weaver
Rose Marie
Don Knotts
Paul Lynde
The Accident
Lisa Maries Divorce
George burns
Jackson dangle his baby
Michael Jacksons baby
Jackson scream when
Shit happens
Children out the ass
Jackson opening a sperm
Jacksons sperm count
When the crib breaks
Jackson candy bar
Jackson doll
Little cans
Instead of after
The under Eights
Malt Whiskey
Jackson and Rum
Jackson consider
Michael so tough
Dubois
Creamed shrimp
Big Boys
Slim Jims
Michael like to party
Jackson is giving a party
Throw me the
Michael actually proposition
Macaulay Culkin
Emily Dick in son
Jacksons toaster
Jacksons pocket
Jacksons makeup
Michael Jacksons hand
Reaching bottom
Screw in a light bulb
A threesome
12 go into 35
12 year old buns
Emergency Room
Chinese name
Youngstown there
Michaels rear and an LA jail
A happy meal
Jackson go to K Mart
Jackson and Walmart
Michael going on holiday
Jacksons favorite holiday
25 years
Jackson and Neil
Michael trying out
Jackson and Jordan
Minor League
Jackson and Dr Spock
Jackson and Santa Claus
Jackson and an Xbox
Jackson call a circumcision
Jackson get kicked out
Jackson get food poisoning
Miss Bobbit
Lorena Bobbit
Little Boy Blew
Jacksons latest song
Ethiopians and Yoko Ono
Got two
Jackson and Lisa
Jackson thinking about
Lisa Marie Presley
Michael and Lisa Marie
Michael Jackson marrying
Jackson and broccoli
Jackson put cheese
Jackson fail to renew
Pepsi fire Michael Jackson
Pepsi sign up Michael
Jackson and a proctologist
Catholic school nuns
Hire a Catholic priest
20 or 30 young boys
Brooke Shields
They all wear one glove
Give him spiked gloves
Jackson write his songs
Which chips
Les Brown
Jackson is ready
Hair caught on fire
Michael Jackson grounded
Pathetic
Jacksons new songs
Jackson cross the road
Jackson gets a boy
Michael cutting down
Ignited Negro College
Richard Pryor
Jackson and Saddam Hussein
Jackson and the PLO
Jackson and a racing jockey
Mick Dittman
4 year olds
They both come
Tonya Harding
Jackson late for
Michael been appearing
TV series
Canadian TV show
New Book
Richard Nixon
Connie Chung
Jackson and a ghost
Jackson and Casper
Jackson and acne
Jackson and a microwave
Jackson and a refrigerator
A plastic grocery bag
Sex like for Michael
Michael sleep with boys
Never land Ranch from
Need to go to rehab
Jackson Check into
Put it back
Hide the pickle
Jackson residence
6 year olds
Predator named for
Gaylord Perry
13 year old
Michael call an orgy
Michael Jackson go to
Pizza and Nintendo
Michael Jackson addicted
Michael Jacksons makeup
Michael Jackson molestation case
Michael Jackson like to lose
How is Michael now
Anal retention
Michaels friends dealing
Michael dealing with
Michael like children
Michael have orgasms
Liquefy some assets
Michael is guilty
Favorite gospel song
Jackson say when
Michael Jackson tell
Little Boy Blew
Jacksons latest song
Feel the World
Jackson and a Nintendo
Michael Jackson like
Get out
David Blaine
Jacksons new band
Jackson and Neil Armstrong
Michael Jackson scream
Michael get in trouble
Michael Jackson so unique
Figuring out
Michael Jackson arrange
10 years
Michael and Connie Chung
The Queen Mothers
Dolly Partons new shoes
Woody Allen call
Raquel Welch
JFK Jr and his wife
JFK Jr movie
4 legs and no ears
Kennedy family
JFK Jr learn
Ocean Spray
JFK Jr miss
Hillary leaves town
Dan Quayle
5 dogs with no balls
Greyhound racing
Chelsea say
Willie Nelson concert
Helen Kellers dog
Woody Allen
On the beach
Michael Jacksons new book
Bill Clinton and
McDonalds
100 Women Surveyed
Michael Jackson have in
Helen Kellers parents
Helen Keller masturbate
Helen Keller do when
Helen Kellers mother
A plastic bag
Michael Jackson know
A microwave stops
George Michael
Christopher Reeves
Magic Johnson
Ellen DeGeneris
How come Mike Tyson
Hillary want to have
18 balls and
Michael Jackson place
Michael Jackson pick
Neil Armstrong and
Michael Jackson has company
Jerry Garcia
Ferrero Rocher
Dig up John Lennon
Diana and Tiger Woods
Diana and Hugh Grant
Diana and change
Airfix model
The accident
Princess
Helen Kellers Dog
Emergency Room