A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night.
The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!".
The cat says, "I don’t think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter."
The penis outraged, says "At least your master doesn’t put a bag over your head and make you do push ups until you throw up!"