10. I do really like you.(You remind me of Freddy from "Nightmare on Elm Street", but I havea soft charitable spot for sad losers like you.)
9. There’s a slight difference in our ages.(My grand-dad is also interested in chess. Do you want his ‘phonenumber?)
8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way.(You are the ugliest f**ker I’ve ever laid eyes on.)
7. My life is too complicated right now.
(I’m seeing three guys right now, double booked two of them fortonight, and in fact actually fancy your best friend, even though heignores me.)
6. I have a boyfriend/I’m still sort of involved with someone.(I prefer the X-files and a half gallon of Haagen Dazs.)
5. I don’t date men where I work.(I wouldn’t go out with you if you were in the same ‘solar system’,much less the same building.)
4. It’s not you, it’s me.(It’s you.)
3. I’m concentrating on my career right now.(Even something as boring and unfulfilling as this lousy, underpaidjob is better than the thought of sleeping with you.)
2. I’m celibate.(I hugely value good sex, that’s why you in particular have nochance.)
…and the NUMERO UNO rejection line, in fact its such a popularline with the gals, they use it to twist the knife even when a manis not really interested (I know its rare boys, but it happens) (andwhat it actually means)
1. Let’s be friends.(I’m saying this to put you out of your misery, because you seemlike the sort of guy who wouldn’t be man enough to mention it to me,and even if you don’t fancy me, I’m just letting you know that you’dbe rejected anyway, so you can feel small and insignificant. Now Iwant you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detailabout all the other men I meet and have sex with, something you’llobviously never experience yourself.)