Are you in love, lust or married?

LOVE………………….when your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST…………………..when your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE…………when your belt won’t meet around your waist, and you don’t care.

LOVE………………….when intercourse is called making love.
LUST…………………..all other times.
MARRIAGE…………what’s intercourse?

LOVE………………….when you argue over how many children to have.
LUST…………………..when you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE…………when you argue over money.

LOVE………………….when you share everything you own.
LUST…………………..when you think twice about giving your partner bus money.
MARRIAGE…………when the bank owns everything.

LOVE………………….when it doesn’t matter if you don’t climax.
LUST…………………..when the relationship is over if you don’t climax.
MARRIAGE…………what’s a climax?

LOVE………………….when you phone each other just to say "g’day".
LUST…………………..when you phone each other just to organize sex.
MARRIAGE…………when you phone each other to find out what time your son’s game starts.

LOVE………………….when you write poems about your partner.
LUST…………………..when all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE…………when all you write is checks.

LOVE………………….when you show concern for your partners’ feelings.
LUST…………………..when you couldn’t give a shit.
MARRIAGE…………when your only concern is what’s on TV.

LOVE………………….when your farewell is "I love you darling …"
LUST…………………..when your farewell is "So, same time next week?"
MARRIAGE…………when your farewell is silent.

LOVE………………….when you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
LUST…………………..when you only ever see each other in the bedroom.
MARRIAGE…………when you never see each other awake.

LOVE………………….when your heart flutters every time you see them.
LUST…………………..when your groin twitches every time you see them.
MARRIAGE…………when your wallet empties every time you see them.

LOVE………………….when nobody else matters.
LUST…………………..when nobody else knows.
MARRIAGE…………when everybody else matters and you don’t care who knows.

LOVE………………….when all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
LUST…………………..when it’s just the same mushy old shit.
MARRIAGE…………when you never listen to music.

LOVE………………….when breaking up is something you try not to think about.
LUST…………………..when staying together is something you try not to think about.
MARRIAGE…………when just getting through today is your only thought.

LOVE………………….when you’re interested in everything your partner does.
LUST…………………..when you’re only interested in one thing.
MARRIAGE…………when you’re not interested in what your partner does and the one thing you’re interested in is your golf score.