Top Ten NOT Surprising Facts About The Average Parent

10. The average parent has eaten their weight in Girl Scout cookies.

9. The average parent has at least two backup recipes for play-doh.

8. The average parent has Pizza Hut on speed dial.

7. The average parent has prepared more than 10,000 servings of macaroni and cheese.

6. The average parent unconsciously hums at least three children’s show theme songs a day.

5. The average parent can take construction paper, glue, pudding cups and aluminum foil and make a delightful Thanksgiving centerpiece.

4. The average parent can produce from their pocket/purse at least 12 legos, 3 hot wheels cars, and a Barbie shoe at any given time.

3. The average parent has at least one child induced stain on the clothing they are currently wearing.

2. The average parent secretly hopes that whoever thought up 3 months for summer vacation gets attacked by a pack of marauding wolverines.

1. The average parent knows that a suspiciously sweet, "Mommy, I love you" means," I have just decorated your new headboard/carpet/dress/suit with all your makeup."