God is sitting up in his ivory tower, tired and worn out. He’s had enough of the pressures and stresses of being the number one, so he’s decided to take a holiday. He calls all his super-being mates together to discuss a few suggestions.

St. Peter, thinking, nods his head, then says, "How about Mars? It’s nice and warm there this time of year." God shakes His head before answering, "Nah I went there 15,000 years ago. It was shit, no atmosphere and too dusty."

"What about Pluto?" suggests another. "No way!" God mutters. "I went there 10,000 years ago. Fucking freezing it was too."

"What about Mercury?" says another. "Are you kidding?" says God. "I went there 5,000 years ago, I nearly burnt me bollox off it was that hot, never again."

"I’ve got it," says St. Peter, his face lighting up. "How about going down to Earth for your vacation?"

"You must be joking," says God, chuckling, "I went there 2,000 years ago, knocked up some Jewish bird, and they’re STILL bloody talking about it."

Religious Jokes