Have you heard Broadmoor’s answering machine?
It says: "Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you have paranoid delusions, we know who you are and what you want; just stay on the line until we can trace your call. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressed, it doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will listen to your message."