MONA LISA’S JEWISH MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that’s the biggest smile you can give us?
COLUMBUS’ JEWISH MOTHER: "I don’t care what you’ve discovered, you still could have written!"
MICHELANGELO’S JEWISH MOTHER: "Can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"
NAPOLEON’S JEWISH MOTHER: "All right, if you aren’t hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me."
ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S JEWISH MOTHER: "Again with the hat? Can’t you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
MARY’S JEWISH MOTHER: "I’m not upset that your lamb followed you to school, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."
ALBERT EINSTEIN’S JEWISH MOTHER: "But, it’s your senior picture. Couldn’t you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something, ANYTHING…?"
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S JEWISH MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"
JONAH’S JEWISH MOTHER: That’s a nice story. Now, tell me where you’ve really been for the last forty years."
THOMAS EDISON’S JEWISH MOTHER: "Of course I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now, turn it off and get to bed"
PAUL REVERE’S JEWISH MOTHER: "I don’t care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew."