The following questions and answers were collated from SAT tests given in Springdale, Arkansas to 16 year old students. Don’t laugh too hard, one of these students may be president someday.
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes which can make water safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the ocean?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the Moon, because there is no water on the Moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the Sun joins in this fight.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels, and you get intercontinental.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g..abdomen)
A: The body consists three main parts: the brainium, the borax, and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q: Give me the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section".
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you be after you be eight.
Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.