A Report Card

A single mother and her little girl were out and about, doing those family errands one must contstantly do, when the girl out of the blue, asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?"

The mother responded, "Honey, women don’t talk about their age. You’ll learn this as you get older."

The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?"

Her mother responded again, "That’s another thing women don’t talk about. You’ll learn this, too, as you grow up."

The little girl, still in her inquisitive child mood, fires off another question: "Mommy, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"

The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don’t want to talk about it now."

The little girl, frustrated, sulks until she is dropped off at a friend’s house to play. She consults with her girlfriend about her and her mother’s conversation. The girlfriend says, "All you have to do is sneak and look at your mother’s driver’s license. It’s just a like a report card from school. It tells you everything."

Later, the little girl and her mother are out and about again. The little girl starts off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are! I know how old you are! You’re 32 years old!"

The mother is moderately shocked, and asks, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?"

The little girl shrugs and says, "I just know. And I know how much you weigh. You weigh 130 pounds!"

"Where did you learn that?"

The little girl says, "I just know. And I know why you and daddy got a divorce. You got an ‘F’ in sex."

General Jokes