You Know What

"Everything Comes In Threes" – Not true.In reality, everything comes in ones. Sometimes, when three "ones" come in a row, it seems like everything comesin threes. By the way, in medieval times, it was widely believed that everythingcame in twenty-sixes. They were wrong, too. It just took them longer to recognize the pattern.

"You Can’t Take It With You (when you die)" – Well…, that depends on what it is. If it’s your dark blue suit, you can certainly take it with you. In fact, not onlycan you take it with you, you can probably put some things in your pockets.

"You Learn Something New Every Day" – Actually, you learn something old every day. Just because you’ve just learned it, doesn’t mean it’s new.Other people already knew it, Columbus is a good example of this.

"The Sky’s The Limit" -Well, how can the sky be the limit? The sky never ends. What kind of a limit is that? The earth is the limit. You dig a hole andwhat do you keep getting? More earth. The earth is the limit.

"You Get What You Pay For" – Clearly this is not true. Have you been shopping recently? Only a very naive person would believe that you get what you pay for. In point of fact, if you check your purchases carefully, you’ll find that you get whatever they feel like giving you. And if corporations get any more powerful, you soon might not even get that.

"Tomorrow Is Another Day" – Not neccesarily true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out to be another day, but we can’t be sure. If it happens, I’ll be the first to say so. But, you know what? By that time, it will be today again.

"NICE GUYS FINISH LAST" – Not true. Studies have shown that, on average, nice guys finish third in a field of six. Actually, short guys finish last. By the way, in medieval times, it was widely believed that nice guys finished twenty-sixth. You can see how limited those people were.

"If You’ve Seen One, You’ve Seen Them All" – Do we even have to talk about this one? This should be obvious. If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen … one.If you’ve seen them all, *then* you’ve seen them all. I don’t even understand how this one got started.

General Jokes