Immorality

The Catholic Priest in a small town had become very perturbed, and he decided to lay it on the line to the congregation. "Brothers and sisters," he said solemnly. "It has come to my attention that immorality is rampant in our fair town. To be specific, it is being said there is not one virgin left. This vile lie must and shall be refuted. In order to do so, I ask every virgin in the congregation to rise."
 
Not a woman stirred. "I understand the modesty that would make a young lady hesitate to announce her condition publicly," the priest intoned. "But it is necessary to do so. Young women, I ask those who are truly virgins to rise."
 
And still not a woman stirred. Wrath now moved the priest. "Will you, for the fear of experiencing a small shame, incur a great one? I ask you in the name of Mother Mary herself. Let all virgins stand!" And as his thunderous tones died away, a young lady, far in the rear, with a baby in her arms, rose bashfully. The preacher stared with astonishment at her. "Young woman, I have asked for virgins to stand."
 
"Father," the young lady answered indignantly, "do you really expect this six-month-old child to stand by herself?"

General Jokes