Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-o to a tree.
Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly car payment is due.
Families are like fudge… mostly sweet with a few nuts.
Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.
Laughing helps. It’s like jogging on the inside.
Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
One day I shall burst my buds of calm and blossom into hysteria.
If you can remain calm, you just don’t have all the facts.
Life’s golden age is when the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car.
Eat a live toad first thing in the morning, and nothing worse can happen to you the rest of the day!