An older couple is lying in bed one morning, having just awakened from a good night’s sleep. He takes her hand and she responds, "Don’t touch me!"
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"Why not?" he asks.
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She answers back, "Because I’m dead."
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The husband says, "What are you talking about? We’re both lying here in bed together and talking to one another."
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She says, "No, I’m definitely dead."
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He insists, "You’re not dead. What in the world makes you think you’re dead?"
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"Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts."