A drug addict trying to go straight walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, I hate drawing welfare. I would really rather find a job."
The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You’ll have to drive around a big black Mercedes, and the suits, shirts and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holiday trips. The salary package is $200,000 a year."
The addict said, "You’re messing with me, man!"
The man behind the counter said, "Well, you started it!"