It can buy a House; But not a Home
It can buy a Bed; But not Sleep
It can buy a Clock; But not Time
It can buy you a Book; But not Knowledge
It can buy you a Position; But not Respect
It can buy you Medicine; But not Health
It can buy you Blood; But not Life
It can buy you Sex; But not Love
So you see money isn’t everything.Â
And it often causes pain and suffering.
I tell you all this because I am your Friend,
and as your Friend I want to take away your pain and suffering…
So send me all your money and I will suffer for you.
I accept cash, money orders, personal checks, cashiers checks, bags of gold, bars of platinum, grade 5 plutonium, deeds, cars, airplanes, bank notes, real property, boats, jewelry and anything else that can be converted to quick cash.
No children please. They will be returned.