The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?" The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves."
Little Johnny asked his grandma how old she was. Grandma answered, "Thirty-nine and holding." Johnny thought for a moment, then said, "And how old would you be if you let go?"
A little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed around the offering plates. When they came near his pew, the boy said loudly, "Don’t pay for me Daddy. I’m under five."
During my brother’s wedding, my mother managed to keep from crying until she glanced at my grandparents. My grandmother had reached over to my grandfather’s wheelchair and gently touched his hand. That was all it took to start my mother’s tears flowing. After the wedding, Mom went over to my grandmother and told her how that tender gesture triggered her out burst. "Well, I’m sorry to ruin your moment," Grandmother replied, "but I was just checking to see if your grandfather was still alive."
The Sunday School teacher asked, "Now, Johnny, tell me, do you say prayers before eating?" "No sir," he replied, "We don’t have to. My mom is a good cook!"
"Oh, I sure am happy to see you," the little boy said to his grandmother on his mother’s side. "Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he has been promising us." The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that?" "I heard him tell Mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit."