In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sear’s hairdryer:Â "Do not use while sleeping." (darn, and that’s the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."Â (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?? You mean, it’s not really soap?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it’s just a suggestion…)
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well…duh, a bit late, huh?)
On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:Â "Product will be hot after heating." (and you thought…..????)
On packaging for a Rowenta Iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn’t this save me more time?)
On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and I’m taking this because??…)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to…what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (okay, now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3:Â maybe, uh…fly Delta?)
On a child’s superman costume: "Wearing this garment does not enable you to fly."Â Â (I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God…was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)